Friday, 15 July 2011

info and dwarf vadar 2

so the new twitter account is up and running at

so keep up to date with all the gigs and links and what not.

and send all love, hate and bookings emails to  all requests for books and merch can be left there too...

and finally Dwarf Vadar Episode 2 has come out!! 5 stars and 1,800 hits and counting :-) sit back, relax and laugh...

Nowt to do now but read The Sun

Now that NOTW is no-more it's The Sun's for the taking - or the Sun on Sunday - whatever it'll be called. Sometimes The Sun made NOTW look like the Financial Times. But at least with The Sun, I understand even the most complicated news stories in under 40 words. I love the way it’s the only paper where you can get ‘Jordan’s jugs grow of their own accord’ right next to ’12 brutally murdered  children in south lebanon’. The editor’s obviously seen a certain poetry in that. A certain defamiliarisation. ‘Shit, ive never seen 12 dead palestian kids in the light of jordan’s tits before. It lends it new meaning. Lifts a veil on a whole new world.’ They just don’t care do they. It’s like eating and smoking at the same time. 

I imagine they’re fine with that, The Sun journalists. You just don’t do it. Here's a list of other things you simply don't do:

1)  Mixing red and white wine at the table to get rose.

2)  Reading Playboy at a funeral. 

3)  Dressing up to go to MacDonalds. 

4)  Eating cornflakes while on the toilet. 

5)  Taking your first date to the cinema to watch Schindler’s List and then going to Fabric, straight after. (You know, at least break it up with a meal at Nando’s in between).   

But no, not The Sun, straight into Fabric, whistles blaring!

You simply don't do it!

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Carl "El Saviour" Jenkinson

Today's blog is dedicated to the saviour of Arsenal Football Club, Mr Carl Jenkinson, the multi-capped international footballer for club and country, and one shining hope for the future of The Defeatables!

In a busy summer transfer window, a whole month in, with only two weeks to go to the Emirates Cup and pre-season games, Wenger has finally fulfilled his promise of opening the kitty-bag and splashing out on the big name players we so desperately need.

Man U have already secured Ashley Young's signature, as well as the most gifted goal-keeper in years David De Gea. Chelsea seem sure to sign Lukaku and Neymar. And Man City will hold on to Tevez while also trying to bring in Snejider and Kaka.

But for the first time, Wenger has seen their hands and raised them - dare I say - gone all in, for British-Finnish ex-Charlton right back, Carl "El Saviour" Jenkinson.

Wenger had to offload Fabregas and Nasri in order to release the funds to bring the right-footed teenager across the river to the Emirates, but the fans and board alike will see this pay dividends straight away.

One fan couldn't believe it when the news finally came through, "I can't believe it", he said.

After a lot of to-ing and fro-ing from agents and both team managers, the intricate contract (compete with incentives, multiple-clauses and bonuses) was drawn up and signed.

"We make the money back on the amount of shirts he'll sell alone", said board member, Ivan Gazidis.

Carl himself was honoured to be part of The Inevitables saying, "I can't wait to have the team built around me, and play alongside such greats as Diaby, Eboue, Denilson, Bendtner, Clichy, Squillaci, Rosicky, Almunia and Arshavin - all of whom, at this point in time, are still under contract for Arsenal and yet to be sold. I just can't wait to make a pass with the ball, and then to run on a bit and receive the pass back again. It's going to be sweet."

Here's to a long list of trophies built on the solid cornerstone of our team - Carl "El Saviour" Jenkinson!

The future's great. The future's Carl.

Messi - the greatest player in the world.

Carl "El Saviour" Jenkinson - what the player looks like in relation to Messi, the greatest player in the world.